A Step in the Dark: Faith and Decision-Making

As a young adult, I have lots of decisions to make... Lots of important decisions, such as where to go to school, what to study, what kind of guys I should date (not that I date much), whether or not I should serve a church mission, etc. etc. Sometimes, I've been intimidated by the thought that the choices I'm making now will have a great impact on the rest of my life, and the lives of my future family. I would wonder, "How am I supposed to make all these decisions when I'm so inexperienced?" I remember one day sitting in a large auditorium with lots of other young adults at a Church Education devotional that was being broadcast all over the world. I don't remember who was speaking, but I remember them talking about faith. I will note that this was the semester I was taking a philosophy class, and we had been learning about all the different theories of how people come, or never come to know things. The speaker at this devotional made an analogy that has stayed with me -- or maybe it came to mind while he was speaking. It seemed like I always knew it, but at that time, it had particular meaning to me. Faith is not knowing. It is not knowing the future. It is not knowing a certain outcome of our decisions. It is taking a step into the dark. It is taking a step into the dark, and then finding that the light follows you. If I stayed in the little pool of light that surrounds me without moving, for fear of taking a wrong turn, I would get nowhere. If I move forward, seeking guidance from my Heavenly Father, He will give me light with each step, showing me if it's the best way to go or not.

 James 2:17
17 Even so ^afaith, if it hath not ^bworks, is dead, being alone.

In English: Faith -> action ->
knowledge -> Rejoice! ->
more faith, etc. -> Salvation
through the Atonement of
Christ.

Alma 32:21 (The entire chapter is a beautiful analogy about how faith leads to knowledge and eternal life.)

 21 And now as I said concerning faith—^afaith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye ^bhope for things which are ^cnot seen, which are true.

 41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with ^apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree ^bspringing up unto everlasting life.

(There's a little Spanish thrown in here: Faith and action, hope.
 This was done while I was in training for my mission.)

Ether 12:6

6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.


In my experience the past few years, I've found that to be true. I was trying to decide where to go to school after graduating high school. I applied to several. Then I thought Snow College looked like a good choice. I went to audition for a music scholarship, praying that if it was the right place to go, I would feel good about it. I did feel good about it. It wasn't a lightning bolt from the sky or an angel telling me to go there. So, I attended for two years, and up to that point in my life, those were the best two years in my life. I majored in music, which I later changed. I at least had direction, and the things I learned then have enhanced my learning in my new major. I made many close friends and was blessed with good leaders and teachers. It was a challenge, especially the semester I took 18 credits and learned an emotionally-draining violin concerto, but I was happy. I was close to the Manti, UT Temple, where I could go to serve and be spiritually strengthened and uplifted.

Then came the time to decide where to go to finish my Bachelor's Degree. After a lot of agonizing and praying over it, I realized I had to make a decision on my own before I received an answer. Doctrine and Covenants 9:8

 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must ^astudy it out in your ^bmind; then you must ^cask me if it be right...

Heavenly Father wants me to grow and learn from making decisions. I weighed my options and decided on Brigham Young University Idaho (BYU-I). I prayed about it, and didn't receive a different direction, so that's where I transferred to. I ended up changing my major to Humanities, and was glad to have chosen a school where a religious perspective can be incorporated freely into all kinds of subjects, tying it all together into an eternal perspective.

By then, I had reached the age where young women of the LDS faith could serve missions. (That age has been lowered since.) I always had it in the back of my mind that I would serve. When it came to it, I was pretty nervous about the idea, though I wanted to share the blessings I have from the Gospel. I asked and asked if it was the thing I should be doing at that point in my life. I had gotten pretty comfortable with school, and felt kind of like I had hit a plateau in my progression. I wanted to do something more. One day, I read a scripture: Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-28

 26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is ^acompelled in all things, the same is a ^bslothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

 27 Verily I say, men should be ^aanxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

 28 For the power is in them, wherein they are ^aagents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their ^breward.

So, I knew then that I didn't have to wait to be forced or told with lightning-bolt certainty before I did a good thing in serving a mission and helping to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was a challenge for me, being a shy person, but I felt my Savior strengthening me with love and courage that I never would have gained in such a short time had I not served a mission. I do not regret that decision. Those 18 months were a pivotal point of my life that is forever changed for the better, and I hope that other lives have changed for the better because of it. I know Heavenly Father inspired me to serve, but he let me make the choice to serve.

Now, I've been back home for seven months, trying to keep learning and get back into school. I still have a need to grow. I will for the rest of my life. I will always have decisions to make, but I know that I can move forward with confidence. I want to marry in the Temple and raise a family in the Gospel. I know it will be a great challenge -- even greater than my mission -- but I know that the Lord will be by our sides. I know He loves me. I hope that you, dear reader, feel His love for you, too.

Belief vs. Being Compelled to Know (See Alma 32)

Why Humanities?

Before I even knew to call the Humanities by that name, I loved the study. Before we had high-speed internet. I was searching through books and an old encyclopedia discarded from the library for things about history and old buildings and languages and such. I read Beowulf during summer vacation -- for fun. (Yes, weird idea of fun.) Now that I'm a humanities major, I've asked myself sometimes, why humanities? That is, beyond satisfying my curiosity, what's it good for?

I think of a Dr. Who episode I saw, one of the early ones, when the Doctor was a grouchy, arrogant old man. He knew a lot about history and science. When he and some others got into a jam, he wanted to escape and save himself. By the end of the episode, however, he came to realize that he could, and ought to use his knowledge for the good of others.

A lot of people have asked me what I want to do with humanities. I've decided that whatever I do, I want to put it to good use. I don't want to just learn things, and then be confined to academia with them. I want to share them in ways that are meaningful to people in general, that can make a positive difference for them if they care to lend their attention. I don't want to belike Queen Jadis and Uncle Andrew in C. S. Lewis' The Magician's Nephew, who thought they had a “high and lonely destiny.” I believe we all have a high destiny that we can reach if we want it. I want to use what I learn to help people see that. ...And I'll tell you right now, I'm not the most brilliant person in the world, but I'll do my best.

So, how can the study of humanities be useful and beneficial? Here are some examples:

• We can learn from history. What went well? What mistakes were made, so we don't repeat them? What kind of an effect did such-and-such have? If we're doing the same things those people did, what are we headed for?
  
• We can learn from literature and other art forms. Stories can actually make a difference if we ask ourselves questions as we read, find answers, and apply what we learn. Then, they mean something to us. Now, I'll admit. I didn't always enjoy English classes in middle and high school. You may be surprised, seeing how much I've been writing these days. Well, the reason is that everything we studied was depressing! Again, we learn from mistakes, but that's not all there is. Let's observe the triumphs, too. There are stories that inspire, like the brave deeds in tales that Sam Gamgee spoke of in J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.
  
  
  “The brave things in the old tales and songs, Mr. Frodo: adventures, as I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of sport, as you might say. But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have been just landed in them, usually—their paths were laid that way, as you put it. But I expect they had lots of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn't.” (The Two Towers, pg. 362)

We're each in our own tale with our own brave deeds to accomplish. What are yours?

• Learn from the masters of the arts, take from what you observe, and create something – like the greatest composers, who were innovative because they were familiar with the musical rules and patterns already in place. Beethoven, the bridge between musical classicism and romanticism, knew the forms and techniques and was able launch off of that to open a new era for music.
  
• If we discover and preserve the past, we can connect to it. A lot of this may be more under anthropology, but much of the study of humanities depends upon it. Come to think of it, it is necessary to discover and preserve the present as well. If someone is hiding out in a cabin painting masterpieces, then burning them, it doesn't help us at all. Sadly, many things have been burned or destroyed in some way, but the more we can find of what remains, the more we can understand. My hope is that more discoveries and breakthroughs in preservation techniques will improve accuracy and better complete our knowledge – and therefore make genealogy a lot easier! Have you ever traced a family line back to some Trojans and wondered if it was at all correct? I have. For one thing, we would probably still be thinking Troy was totally a matter of myth if someone – namely, Heinrich Schliemann – hadn't found and dug it up (very carefully).

So, in conclusion, the study of humanities isn't a bunch of fluff for boring lectures. (Actually,most people I've talked to say they enjoyed their humanities classes.) I intend to make what I study worth something.

Hojas / Leaves

Here's my first attempt at poetry in Spanish. It came to me while I was driving home from work one day. It may not be the best Spanish, but I thought it was worth a try.

Hojas
Corriendo en el viento
encima de la calle.
Se mueven rápidamente,
Pero son enlazados con la tierra.

Aves
Bailando en el cielo
arriba de la tierra.
Gritan. lloran,
porque todavía no pueden escapar.

Nosotros
Mirando hacia arriba.
No tenemos alas. Tenemos sueños.
Podemos volar
más allá que el cielo azul,
entre las estrellas
en hechos cotidianos,
buscando nuestro destino
divino.


Here's the English translation:

Leaves
Running in the wind
over the street.
They move fast,
but are tied to the earth.

Birds
Dancing in the sky
above the earth.
They cry
because still they can't escape.

We
Looking up
We have no wings. We have dreams.
We can fly
beyond the blue sky,
among the stars
in daily doings,
seeking our destiny
divine.

Well, I'm Back

Dear Readers,

I hope you've all been well this last year-and-a-half with you and your families. This time has gone by quickly for me. I was serving a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a beautiful, challenging, eye-opening, edifying growing experience for me.

Now, you may have seen or met some missionaries from this church before. You may have ignored them. You may have listened a little. You may have taken up some of their invitations. So what are the missionaries there for, anyway? Simply stated, our purpose is to bring souls to Christ. A missionary is a representative of Christ. Now, that doesn't mean we're perfect, by any means. It does mean that we follow Him, and try to do and become as He does and is. It means that we are called by Him on His errand. It means that we have felt the power of His grace in our own lives, and want to help others have this too. We try to find people whose hearts have been prepared to receive the message, and we plant a lot of seeds along the way as well. Many times, it has amazed me how the Lord has led us to people, and them to us. His timing is perfect.

Some of you may be asking, "Why try to convert people if they already know Jesus?" I know that many of you are really, honestly seeking to follow Christ, and you love Him, and you've felt His love and forgiveness. We're not here to take any of that away. We're here to add truth and light to the truth you already treasure. As you learn more about the message we share, pay attention to those feelings of peace and love from the Savior that you may have felt before. Those feelings come from the Holy Spirit and will help you recognize truth.

John 14: 26-27

 26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Then, act on what you learn so you can continue to feel that peace, continue to grow as a person, and come even closer to the Savior.

Another question you may be asking is "Why would you have any more truth to add to what we already have?"

To answer, let's rewind a few centuries. Many of you know about the prophets, like Noah, Abraham, Moses, etc. Why were they important? They received instruction from God, and guided the people accordingly. They taught the Gospel and prophesied of Christ's coming. One important thing to note was that they didn't choose themselves to be prophets. They were called by God to be His servants, and given His authority, or the priesthood. Now, when the people listened to them and obeyed, they were blessed. Many times, however, they chose not to listen, and they fell in darkness and unhappiness. When they were prepared to listen again, God, in His love and mercy, would call another prophet, like Moses, to guide them.

After one particular period of darkness, God sent His Son, Jesus Christ. He taught and served the people. He established His church and called the Twelve Apostles, including Peter, James, and John. Most importantly, He willingly suffered and died for our sins, so we can be repent and be forgiven, be cleansed, and someday live with our Heavenly Father again. After He was resurrected, He still guided the Apostles through revelation. They worked miracles, baptized and gave the Gift of the Holy Ghost by His power and authority. (See Acts 19:1-6 for an example.

The church grew, but there was a lot of opposition, and sadly, many of the members of the church were mislead and began to fall into things that weren't right. Eventually, most of the apostles were killed, and there was no one for them to pass the the priesthood, or authority to. People made unauthorized changes to the doctrine, or forgot parts of Christ's teachings. There was no prophet to receive revelation. (See Amos 8:11-12.) However, there have been over the years people who have recognized that there was something missing, and they honestly sought the truth. Some made reforms, which opened the way for more religious freedom, which helped prepare for the restoration of the true church of Jesus Christ.

Once again in his love and mercy, God again called a prophet to guide us, just like the prophets of old. He was an instrument in the hands of God to restore the Church of Jesus Christ. He also translated The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ by the power of God. The Book of Mormon, like the Bible was written by prophets -- just in another part of the world: the ancient Americas. It stands hand-in-hand with Bible to witness of Jesus Christ. It confirms and clarifies the truths taught in the Bible. God knew there would be a lot of confusion, so he provided the Book of Mormon. It is evidence that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true chruch. I love the Book of Mormon, and I know it's true. It has helped me to come unto Christ, and I have seen it bless the lives of others.

You can know if these things are true for yourself as you read the Book of Mormon, ponder what you read, and pray in faith, asking if it's true. The Holy Ghost will let you know if it's true if you are sincere and are willing to act on the answer you get.

Moroni 10:3-5

 3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

 4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth  of all things.

 Let me share one of my favorite scriptures from the Book of Mormon:

 2 Nephi 25:26

26 And we talk  of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

I invite you to read the Book of Mormon, you may read it online or request a free copy by following this link. http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng